Sometimes you just can't win. I truly believed that I would be headed home by now, but no, here I am in the most uncomfortable hotel suite I have ever stayed in. The bed is hard as a rock, so I wake up each morning with a backache and both hips aching. The sofa and chair are broken down and impossible to sit or lay on for more than about 15 minutes. I have had to resort to a heating pad to get my skeleton to work in the morning.
Today is transplant plus 46. That means I have been in Denver for 56 days. Last week my doctor told me he would probably keep me here until AT LEAST transplant plus 60. That means I won't be in my comfy recliner for the Super Bowl, so I have set my sights on the Daytona 500. If he hasn't set me free by then, I'm going to just run away.
I go to the clinic every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. They draw my blood and run my labs and then either a doctor or a nurse practitioner comes in and asks me the same questions: are you have any vomitting, nausea or diharrea? do you have any rashes? are your legs swelling? how's your appetite? how's your vision? I dutifully answer honestly each time (no, no, yes, it sucks, blurry). It's so boring that I'm thinking of creating some real whoppers to make them sit up and notice how well I am doing.
I have had to receive two units of red blood cells each of the last three Fridays. Between the clinic routine and the transfusion, it eats up the entire day. But then, it's not like I have places to go and people to see.
I miss everything about my life, my home, my kids, my grandkids, my friends, my extended family, my office family, my office . . . maybe even the wind --- how sick is that?
All I can do is fire up the heating pad and count the days, transplant plus 47, transplant plus 48, transplant plus 50 . . . I can't count much higher than that, so I better be Cheyenne bound by then.
Thank you all for the cards, phone calls, prayers and overall support. I helps so much to know there are so many people who care.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
New Year's First . . . Now Christmas!
I'm sure it's not horribly uncommon for some families to celebrate Christmas sometime after New Year's, but this is the first time for our family. Every other year we have two Christmases . . . one on Christmas Day and another sometime between Christmas and New Year's when my oldest son and his family return from his wife's home in Huelett (Wyoming for all of you both in state and out who might not know where Huelett is).
This year, Christmas Day was spent in my little hospital room --- no tree (real or fake) allowed, no fancily wrapped gifts and a choice of crappy ham or crappy pork for dinner. Steve and Dylan did drive down for an hour or so and that was pretty much that.
Now New Year's Day was a completely different story. At transplant plus 22 days, I was released from the hospital and "transitioned" to a long-stay hotel suite not far from the cancer clinic or the hospital. Steve, Dylan and St. Gwen came down and moved me and left Dylan behind as my "primary" caretaker. He's doing a fine job and it has been a pleasure to spend some one-on-one time with him (even though he beat me at Scrabble AGAIN last night).
Tomorrow will be the Lathrop family Christmas. My son Jake, wife Sara, children Jameson (3) and Madeline (almost 1 year) and my daughter, Rayme, husband Rich, children Emmaray (just turned 4) and Hayden (2) will come down to Denver and we will open presents, eat something easy and simple, and celebrate another year of living.
The weeks ahead will be filled with trips to the clinic every other day where I will try to convince Dr. Rifkin at every visit that I am ready to go back to Cheyenne under the care of Dr. Batezini. I'm giving him three more weeks and he's still singing that tune about up to 100 days. Want to place a wager on who wins?
Even though this phase of my treatment was no walk in the park, I am doing very well. Each day I get a little more appetite back and a little more strength. I can't stand all the idleness, but I don't yet have the wherewithall to focus on projects, reading, watching tv, or doing much more than taking short walks and long naps.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and that their New Year got off to as great a start as mine!
This year, Christmas Day was spent in my little hospital room --- no tree (real or fake) allowed, no fancily wrapped gifts and a choice of crappy ham or crappy pork for dinner. Steve and Dylan did drive down for an hour or so and that was pretty much that.
Now New Year's Day was a completely different story. At transplant plus 22 days, I was released from the hospital and "transitioned" to a long-stay hotel suite not far from the cancer clinic or the hospital. Steve, Dylan and St. Gwen came down and moved me and left Dylan behind as my "primary" caretaker. He's doing a fine job and it has been a pleasure to spend some one-on-one time with him (even though he beat me at Scrabble AGAIN last night).
Tomorrow will be the Lathrop family Christmas. My son Jake, wife Sara, children Jameson (3) and Madeline (almost 1 year) and my daughter, Rayme, husband Rich, children Emmaray (just turned 4) and Hayden (2) will come down to Denver and we will open presents, eat something easy and simple, and celebrate another year of living.
The weeks ahead will be filled with trips to the clinic every other day where I will try to convince Dr. Rifkin at every visit that I am ready to go back to Cheyenne under the care of Dr. Batezini. I'm giving him three more weeks and he's still singing that tune about up to 100 days. Want to place a wager on who wins?
Even though this phase of my treatment was no walk in the park, I am doing very well. Each day I get a little more appetite back and a little more strength. I can't stand all the idleness, but I don't yet have the wherewithall to focus on projects, reading, watching tv, or doing much more than taking short walks and long naps.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and that their New Year got off to as great a start as mine!
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